CLICHE TIMES INFINITY PLUS ONE

The opening to a Fox Sports piece published yesterday:

Scarred beyond recognition, a survivor in a town that feeds on real and imagined weakness, Donovan McNabb has emerged as the perfect Philadelphia sports star.

He has spilled the blood, sweat and tears of a thousand Big 5 players at the Palestra. He has suffered the indignities of an entire neighborhood of civic-minded families that tried attending games at the Vet.

Philadelphia is famous for booing Santa?

Even Santa booed McNabb on draft day.

!@#$#%$#!@#&*@#!$ WHAT?!? @!#@#$@##$!@@#@

And the merging of Santa booing McNabb on draft day just created a black hole over North Jersey where all intelligent life has ceased to exist.

Santa booing McNabb on draft day. No words.

The article only gets worse from there. I don't recommend you read it or you'll want to gouge your eyes out and then kill someone. Then kill a Giants fan. Then kill Howard Eskin. Then you'll want to go all Ace Ventura when he figures out Einhorn is Finkle, Finkle is Einhorn. Then jump off the Walt Whitman yourself.

There's just so much wrong with it. Feel free to pick a sentence to rip apart in the comments. I'd pay good money for someone to go all Fire Joe Morgan on this garbage.

>>McNabb shows what resolve, toughness can do [FOX Sucks]

Comments

[Rosey]

I'm so tired of these national sportwriters drugding up the stereotypical demons.

Shame on YOU Ian O'Connor!

[Chamomiles Davis]

O'Connor is a second-rate Gregg Doyel. And Gregg Doyel is third-rate.

Just add this dreck to the pile in the corner, stuffed with useless columns by Michael Wilbon, Doyel and TJ Simers.

And make room for Frank Fitzpatrick, while you're at it!

[Rex]

Urge to kill rising......

[Brad]

Mr. O'Connor, what you've just written is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this website is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

[zfg]

Fun fact: we are the only fans who have ever criticized a quarterback in the history of pro football. It's true. I mean, just look at the fantastic reception Eli Manning got. That guy was universally beloved in NY from the minute he got there.... Oh wait!

[jd]

i don't get it. why do all media outlets fail in doing their homework?

1) anyone other than ricky williams would have been booed.

2) some philly radio personality organized those thirty asses that booded said pick.

3) santa was stinking drunk in front of children.

4) there are die-hard mcnabb fans in this town. just like there are die-hard mcnabb haters. just like there are the mindless fans that can change their opinions on a weekly basis. which ones do you think get more press (hint: look at #2 and #3)?

i find it incredible these journalists get paid. no wonder blogs are crushing them.

[jd]

and i'm pretty sure "booded" is a word....

this kind of error is a typical result of being exposed to journalistic tripe.

[yellowbird]

guys..take it with a grain of salt.

after all, it is FOX sports....the same band of jerkoffs who put the world series at 837pm...the same ballbags who put our NLDS v. COLO last year at 5!pm during the week....and the same douchebags that still employ troy aikman, kenny albert, and jimmy johnson as commentators who supposedly know wtf theyre talking about.

so just throw this guys name on the bottom of the long list of cocksuckers who hate on philly just to hate on philly, and have no clue whats really going on in this city.

[Pat]

"This year, McNabb was McNailed nationally for revealing he didn't know regular-season games could end in a tie."

McNailed. I really hope he doesn't cut anyone with that razor sharp wit. Oh and try and find another profession where you can not understand how the business works and expect sympathy for your self imposed ignorance?

[Leroy]

They are hands down the worst out of the big four networks to ever cover sports. I pray for the day when their contract runs and they don't cover the NFL or MLB anymore.

[Matt]

"In fact, Philadelphia fields the only teams in sports that try to score early to take their own fans out of the game."

Really?? You've gotta be freakin' kidding me...

He obviously has no idea what he's talking about.

[Joe]

Hey, I'm in North Jersey.

Do all these sports writers who think the whole town hates Donovan even try and count all the people wearing number 5 in the stands?

[will.H]

yellowbird, im pretty sure it was 3pm two days straight. nevertheless, these national sports writers try so hard to be clever and catchy, writing cute savvy sentences with hope their reader will say 'gosh, this is priceless!'

One day, it might be an old tired thing to pick apart the philadelphia sports scene, and the next recipient will know what its like to actually endure a dickinthebum.

Ive since quit trying to convince people who we are and what we stand for. Lets fly the "fuck you all" flag like the generations before.

[Marc]

I had to write this idiot. Here's what I wrote:

With dumb-ass columns like this slop that you put together (with no research whatsoever), it doesn't surprise me that newspapers are folding. You don't deserve to have a job as a columnist when you write crap like this. Do some research. Philly fans threw snowballs at Santa? Really? I guess it's too much work to find out that the guy dressed as Santa was piss drunk and cursing up a storm in front of a whole group of children attending the game. Or that a whole group of 30 (that's it, just 30) fans attended the draft and booed the selection the Eagles made. Now, an educated person such as yourself can easily determine that 30 fans apparently represents an entire fan base. And those 30 fans were not booing McNabb. They were booing the fact the Eagles did not select Ricky Williams. It didn't matter who the Eagles took. Those 30 fans (that seem to represent the ENTIRE FAN BASE) were going to boo anyone not named Ricky Williams. But that's too much research for a moron like you to do. Your articles always were crap, but I've never been tempted to actually call an "author" (I use the term loosely here, obviously) on their articles. But this shows no effort out of you at all. I mean, my 10 year old niece understands this stuff better.

Do yourself a favor and stick to subjects you know about (I know that really limits you, but you should really try and EARN a paycheck as opposed to stealing one).

[MikeY]

@ Rex

+1 for the Simpsons reference.

...my rant coming later.

[ill]

is it cliche of us to complain about said cliche yet?

I think I am numb to them.

[Toledo Iggle]

Will H's response should be kept on a save/get key. On the mark on all points.

[R.S.]

Forget it, Enrico. It's Philacheesesteakboosantarockylibertybellphia.

[Gaze]

Shouldn't someone sue all of these guys for plagarism? I'm sure 35 years ago, the first guy to make a "Snowballs and Santa" joke was actually saying something clever. And 8 years ago, the first "They Boo'd him at the draft" comment had some merit. But now these guys are just repackaging the same un-original BS day in and day out and calling it sports commentary. I liken it to a comedian stealing another guy's jokes.

[brett]

@MikeY
Rex's reference is to Billy Madison, when he answered the question about the industrial revolution.

I am not only disappointed as an Eagles fan but also as a man and this calls into question everything you have done so far in your life

:)
Nah just kidding, but it was still Billy Madison instead of the Simpsons.

[theKrisheim]

WFAN is a good listen today, as well

if you want to hear people trash us

i guess they are doing some simulcast with WIP all day tomorrow as well

[will.H]

guys im pretty sure it was brad, not rex.

Knibb High football rules.

[RyanAbrams77]

The problem is, and always has been, that the New York media is too powerful, and we happen to be playing against them in all major sports.

The writers are simply giving their readers what they want, and a lot of times the pieces end up with national attention. I am from North Jersey, and I get The Record (as well as the NY Times) every day. Ian O'Connor happens to write articles like this about lots of NY players too (although, this one happens to be one of his worst).

The New York Media looks at Philly like a fucking sociology experiment or something. That "spin" gets reproduced nationally and all of the sudden we are troglodytes that boo all of our Hall of Famers and throw snowballs and blah blah blah. Being from outside new york (and growing up a Philly fan), take it from me: New York fans would say the same kind of things and call for the head of the same coaches and players we do. All my friends were calling for the firing of Tom Coughlin last October, and then they won the Superbowl. Since the NY media is in control of everything, we don't hear about the moron fans who are too dumb and boorish to know real football genius (like we are hearing about us right now). Early last year and all of 2006, most Giants fans wanted Eli benched. We don't hear about that now. Just remember that talking shit about Philly fans sells newspapers. Also remember that our newspapers have BETTER THINGS TO DO than report on other city's teams like they are some kind of anthropology journal reporting on a long lost civilization with strange values and norms.

Fuck the New York media. They have the WORST sports sections ever conceived.

[stevefredericks]

im glad i called that guy

[brett]

O'Doyles Rule!

[stevefredericks]

doesnt new york boo the best shortstop of all time (who moved to third to appease captain worst-defensive-ss-in-the-majors)?

arod is unquestionably the best SS of all time and is probably the best player in the game right now.

i love mcnabb and people who want him out are pretty dumb, but is mcnabb as good at football as arod is at baseball? hell no, and arod gets ultra-criticized non-stop by the media and the 55,000 people that watch that god-awful baseball team up there every day.

[thad]

"Urge to kill rising" was the simpsons reference, by rex

the whole "I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul" was a Billy Madison reference, by brad

good, now that's all straightened out

[river327]

Not that I truly believe anything that any of my Giants fan friends send me, but one just sent a quote from DeSean Jackson that was seen, ready for this, on a NYG message board with no original source cited. Here's the quote:

"Everyone wants to talk about the Giants, they're the Super Bowl champs, they're so great...and they are still the Champs, but we're going to go in there and beat them."

Now, given Jackson's cockiness at times, I can't see him NOT saying this, but in every interview, I haven't seen ANY Eagle giving any kind of sound bite for NY to use to fire them up even more than they already are. Something is fishy to me.

[brett]

I'll do something these writers won't do and admit I am wrong :).

But really we booed a 5-5-1 team that got drubbed by Baltimore and tied by Cincinnati what other city would not have had that reaction?

[will.H]

ryanabrams777, come on man, you have to give the ny papers some credit. at the very least they can scrape together false stories about poitical figures without consiquence. whats that word, kredabillitee?

remember fellas, "fuck you all" flags. we wont ever change their collective mind.

[will.H]

river327 i think jacobs said something like that too; "eventhough im a big fucking whiner, i think we can beat the eagles. Yeah, i crawled off the field like a vietnam vet the last time we played, but my leg fell asleep. Do you have any idea how that feels? Anyway, we're on a roll.. we lost 3 of our last 4 and our fans make enough excuses about that for the both of us. Lastly, i dont want people to make fun of me because my initials are BJ."

[MikeY]

@ Brett:

No, it's actually from the Simpsons halloween episode where they did a spin-off of the "The Shining".

Go find a video of the "Treehouse of Horror V" and watch it towards the end when Homer is trapped outside in the snow.

In "Billy Madison", after he answers the question on the industrial revolution, this is what the Principals response is:

"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

/pwn'd

[MikeY]

Oops, my bad Brett...while I was typing my response, you guys had already straightened it out and I didn't realize it yet...I take back my "/pwn'd"...but I was still right.

[MikeY]

Oops, my bad Brett...while I was typing my response, you guys had already straightened it out and I didn't realize it yet...I take back my "/pwn'd"...but I was still right.

[MikeY]

..and now I've double posted...goddammit!

[MikeY]

I just like seeing 5 rows of

"MikeY on..."

in the comments section.

[river327]

Too good Will. I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks this "quote" seems odd.

[Not a fan of five]

that simpsons Shining episode where he didn't have tv or beer is a great episode.

This type of crap happens every time our team plays another team in [insert sport here] in the playoffs. My quality of life increased immensely when I stopped paying attention. That and articles like "Is this the end of [any topic that is obviously not dying]", or "[topic] gets an obituary". rubbish

[Not a fan of five]

>> articles like "Is this the end of [any topic that is obviously not dying]", or "[topic] gets an obituary". rubbish

They're more in my profession of computer science, stuff like
http://ezinearticles.com/?Obituary-The-Death-of-SEO&id=1218882

stupid crap. Plagued with typos or grammar mistakes like "not saying that you should not due some basic SEO" due?! Urge to kill rising...

[Bob]

Uhhhh a simple no would have sufficed.

But anyways, this guys is a tool. He writes for a north jersey paper and covers the Giants. He has no basis to say what the Philadelphia fan base really thinks of McNabb because he doesn't write for a Philly based paper or live near Philadelphia. Don't worry about this moron.

Speak for yourself, Moron...

Oh my god that is funny!

[Not a fan of five]

falling... falling RISING.. falling :)

[Fat Ted]

I did some FJM for you Enrico.
http://iwantfunk.blogspot.com/2009/01/going-fjm-on-mr-ian-oconnor-of.html
click the link to see his words in bold and mine regular.

He has spilled the blood, sweat and tears of a thousand Big 5 players at the Palestra.
Don't forget puke, and also not sure when I've seen him cry (McNabb is not T.O.). Why compare McNabb, the most important player on probably the city's most followed team, to college players. Sure we love the Big 5, but that's college basketball, not the NFL, expectations are a little different. Plus, you are from New York, I doubt you've ever seen a great Big 5 game.

Philadelphia is famous for booing Santa?
Philadelphia is famous for many inappropriate actions. Booing Santa should not be one of them. Also, you missed the better part about Philadelphians throwing snowballs at Santa. Everyone from Philly knows the story and its not that outlandish. Even the guy dressed as Santa that day I think has said he probably would have booed and thrown snowballs at Santa at that game.

I told him that grouping Philadelphia with Boston and New York was like throwing Genghis Khan into the same cell with two guys busted for jaywalking.
In comparison, Philadelphians are like warlords for booing their players when they perform poorly and New York sportswriters are like jaywalkers when they totally crucify every single action of the New York sports figures (can we say A-Rod's personal life).

McNabb still has a chance to go down as the enduring Philly story of 2008.
Now there isn't even an ounce of truth to that statement. For one thing, 2008 is over, he could be the biggest story of 2009. Did you even watch the World Series? Sure the national ratings were horrible, but not here in Philly. Perhaps you caught any of the coverage of the parade? Yea, I'm pretty sure 10 years down the road 2008 will be the year of the Phillies.

In fact, Philadelphia fields the only teams in sports that try to score early to take their own fans out of the game.
I'm not sure I actually understand this sentence. Philadelphia teams don't try to score first because scoring points is how you win games?

But nobody's had more line drives smacked at him than McNabb, whose 10 years in Philly are the equivalent of 20 anywhere else.
So McNabb has been here the longest. Yes, good point that you have already made multiple times. Are you implying that McNabb plays like hes over 40 years old or something with the 20 comment because as he has proved this season, McNabb is not an old man.

This would be the same Landry who in 15 NFL seasons threw for 13,000 fewer yards and nearly 100 fewer touchdowns than McNabb would manage in his first 10.
So McNabb turned into a great QB, maybe some people didn't see that happening. If it proves one thing it sure proves that Greg Landry sucked as a player when he was in the NFL because that is totally how you should judge someone's coaching ability.

He threw for 357 yards and three touchdowns in a Super Bowl loss to the Brady/Belichick Patriots and yet is best remembered for the interceptions, the sacks and the alleged dehydration/exhaustion/nausea that did or didn't get the best of him down the stretch.
You know why its crazy that he is remembered for that? Because that is HOW THE GAME ENDED! Really, all I care about during the Super Bowl is stats, not who WINS the game!

This year, McNabb was McNailed nationally for revealing he didn't know regular-season games could end in a tie.
Holy crap, I hope you get an award for that one.

Only something funny happened on the way to divorce court. McNabb beat the Cardinals, Giants and Browns, ripped the Cowboys in a win-or-else game and threw for 300 yards in a wild-card playoff victory over the Vikings.
It is amazing that he is playing wonderfully and so Philadelphians are loving him. Why don't they hate him like Philadelphians are supposed to?

Moral of the story, Mr O'Connor or is it Dr O'Connor, is that you are a poor story teller. You picked what could have been a great story (the longest tenured Philadelphia athlete), but instead you ruined it.

[MikeY]

Completely off topic...

Jeff Carter is the Flyers only representative in the All-Star game?!...No Richards??...No Gagne??...and 4 Canadiens starting!?

Goddamn fucking Montreal frenchie bitches!...your all ballot box stuffing douches.

...just another reason why 100% fan voting is crap. This is one thing the NFL does the right way with the 1/3 fan, 1/3 coach and 1/3 player vote.

/guessing this post will get removed.

[Louie]

I gave the FJM approach a try:

http://sufferingidiots.blogspot.com/

[Not a fan of five]

new here? posts don't get removed except when you say [edited. say that s@#% again and get banned mofo!!]. that's when they get really angry :)

[Not a fan of five]

hehe it was a joke, i typed that myself

[MikeY]

I'm not new here, I've been reading and posting for almost a year...I thought it might get removed because of what I wrote about the Montreal fans.

[jd]

article reminds me of the OTL/driveby piece ESPN did this summer on PSU. Half truths to prove biases, etc. the crowning moment of this pinnacle of journalistic integrity was relying on "an insider's view" (their words) of the PSU situation, citing specific insight to the PSU community because he worked in a philadelphia newspaper...Stephen A. Smith.

[Nick D]

I want to McKill Ian O'Connor

[Nick D]

@Fat Ted

what the hell does "rant" mean?