Morning Extras: Sticks And Stones

What's the old saying...sticks and stones may break my bones but names can get you suspended. Matt had this in his Flyers recap, but there's some further investigation and debate that just seems necessary here.

Sean Avery – a disgusting barnacle on the underbelly of the giant vessel that is the NHL – was suspended for calling his ex-girlfriend 'sloppy seconds.' (Video in Matt's post from last night) Granted, she is currently dating a player on the team he was about (sorry, aboot) to face last night, but he was suspended for calling an un-named woman 'sloppy seconds.' In fact, people assume it was Elisha Cuthbert he was talking aboot, but it very well could have been another one of his conquests (who by the way, was once famously married to Rod Stewart, so really, who's seconds are sloppy there, pal).

In a world where NFL players are suing the league because they were suspended for testing positive for PEDs and where baseball players can be fined as little as $10,000 for, say, getting caught with smack, does it not seem insane that the NHL would suspend a player for comments to the press of this nature?

According to TSN (via Deadspin) this was the last straw for Avery, who had done enough to warrant this suspension without (sorry, withoot) these comments.

[T]here has been a long litany of things that he hasn't been punished for. He flipped the bird to a cameraman in New York, had verbal exchanges with Darcy Tucker as well as the allegations of what he may or may not have said about Jason Blake. There have been a number of things he hasn't gotten in trouble for and now that he has said this and crossed the line, the hammer has come down."

Maybe I'm making too much of this, and sure, the guy seems like a first-class jerk, but how far can leagues go when suspending players? Remember when Alex Rodriguez was seen walking around with a stripper while his wife and kids were at home? Will infidelity be grounds for suspension soon?

Don't think it might not happen. The NFL collectively bargained (or horse-traded) the right to let Commissioner Roger Goodell decide the fate of any player at any time for 'conduct detrimental to the league.' Goodell can suspend a player for basically any reason, even if the player has yet to be convicted of anything, if his alleged actions look poorly upon the league. It's not too much of a stretch to think that players will be suspended for talking poorly about officiating or their own coaches or, yes, their former trysts.

EXTRAS:

• Speaking of suspensions, say what you will about the legal rights of Plaxico Burress to carry a firearm, but did anyone expect this much talk about the Second Amendment? Yesterday on Mikey Miss' show a few callers went NRA on Mike, talking about Burress' right to carry that weapon. Then Gonzo has this lead today's mailbag:

As much of a loser as Plaxico Burress is, he is the patriot in this case. People need to realize that [New York Mayor Michael] Bloomberg is a scumbag threat to freedom in America. Wake up, America, or lose your country. - Pete

Pete,
Well said. As a constitutional scholar (everyone needs a hobby), I can tell you that this is exactly what the Founding Fathers had in mind when they drafted the Bill of Rights. I can see them sitting around the table, listening to Young Jeezy and talking about the need to arm themselves while partying at Manhattan nightclubs. It's all right there in the history books. - Gonzo

The way I read it, Burress had an expired license for this weapon IN FLORIDA. And he had never registered the gun in New York. I'm not a gun owner, but I totally understand the right. Didn't this seem like a strange case for people to use as a pulpit?

• In actual sports news, the Sixers won in overtime at Chicago. They were up a lot, lost the lead then won in overtime. Sounds like the Flyers game.

• Fans of Everybody Loves Raymond will be saddened, and grossed out, by this news.

• The NY Daily News stole the Empire State Building. Your move, David Blaine.

• Villanova cruised over Penn. This Nova team is pretty good. The BIG EAST is insanely good, with EIGHT teams ranked in the Top 25.

• Finally, 'Duk gave me a huge link yesterday, so I'll return the favor with a tiny one today (I need it more than him). Javier Vasquez is going to the Braves. Fans of the other four NL East teams rejoice!

Comments

[Loqiel]

Something like this would roll off the back of MLB or the NBA or the NFL, but doesn't fly in the NHL because of their present image and attendance problems. In a league where fighting is a daily part of the game (and is seen as barbaric by many fans) this only adds to the Slapshot perception of the current league. They had no choice but to suspend Avery, even though all he did was what millions of us have done: bash an ex-love interest.

[Scott B]

Why not suspend Avery? He mouth and ability to annoy is really his only talent (loved that Brodeur didn't shake his hand in the playoffs). The guy pushes the envelope in any and every way he can until finally somebody said 'ok, enough.' I really hope for the day he gets his teeth knocked out from a player who is tired of his shit.

p.s - Elisha Cuthbert when not photoshopped is not hot. there. i said it.

[Bob]

How exactly is what he said detrimental to the league? I see it as detrimental to maybe one player or one person, if it is that. This is a statement made by an agitator intending to agitate. The NHL thrives on having agitators. An agitator generally defends the superstars on the team and attracts fans who otherwise may not enjoy hockey. Take away pre-lockout players such as Matthew Barnaby, Claude Lemieux, or post lock out Sean Avery, Jordin Rutu, or the likes and see how many fans continue to watch NHL. Look at our fantasy leagues; we include PIM's as a positive category. I am sorry, I cannot agree with what the NHL did in suspending Avery.

[Reverend Paul Revere]

Well, shit, Levy, I agree completely with this one.

[Hennessy]

Cuthbert has become a puck slut.

You never know, the real reason this hack got suspended could be that he realized what he had said, and begged Bettman to suspend him to escape getting fuckin destroyed by Dion Phaneuf.

Phaneuf makes his living with shit like this, Avery makes his waving his stick in front of a goalie's face and making fun of an opponent with cancer

PS for those of you who don't know, Avery took an unpaid internship with Vogue last summer, says he loves fashion, and wants to work in the field after hockey, Bettman was just waiting for the right mistake to use as a cover in his quest to keep gays out of hockey.

[Scott B]

What I believe is a good counterpoint to Dan. Whether it was the league or his own team, Avery was going to get suspended.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/columns/story?columnist=burnside_scott&id=3740622

[millertime]

i don't necessarily agree or disagree one way or the other because i think avery is a tremendous douchebag. but it would've been interested to see him and phaneuf on the ice together.

[Walklett]

You see how she's holding that stick? I'd break up with her too. You'd think with all the hockey knob she's been slobbin she might have better form.

[Francis]

I'm going to buck the trend here and say that Avery is awesome. He's an intriguing, ridiculous caricature (he interned at Vogue for god's sake) and he should be in the NHL as long as he can play at an elite level. The NHL needs people like him to shake things up. There aren't enough (I'd say any) individual villains in the NHL like Ron Artest, Terrell Owens, etc. I think Bettman was just saving Avery from getting murdered on the ice by Phaneuf.