Morning Extras: Hamels Enjoys Handcuffing Opponents

There are many words to describe the way Cole Hamels pitched last night. "Stellar." "Superb." Even some descriptive phrases will do. "Cole was dealing." "Hamels was Lights Out."

I thought it was odd that both philly.com and phillies.com used basically the same headline to describe Hamels' 7 1/3 shutout innings. "Hamels Handcuffs Nats."

Handcuffs. I just find that to be a funny way to put it. I know the headlines aren't written by the writer, which is why I think it's even more interesting. At least the MLB game story used the term in the story. Zolecki's game story made no mention of it, nor did it mention that Cole was jamming hitters all night or pitching well inside. And of the five hits he gave up, two were extra-base hits. Did he break a lot of bats? Man, in this day and age, Moyer could probably snap a bat.

So anyway, Cole enjoys handcuffing people. For all you ladies reading this (Clare), there was no mention of how fuzzy.

The one bit of news that actually does come out of Ken Mandel's game story is that Charlie Manuel does want Cole to pitch against the Metropolitans over the weekend.

"I want to put Hamels on the Mets," Manuel said. "That's a two-game swing, and this time of the year, we need to win some of those games in New York. We'll talk to him and see how he feels. We'll talk to the trainer and see where we're at."

As for Cole...

Asked repeatedly how he felt about that idea, Hamels remained non-committal.

"It's tough because it's so late in the game and I haven't been a good player/teammate with the injuries I've had in the past," Hamels said. "It's kind of a sticky situation. This is something where I want to get past this so I don't have to think about an injury situation ever again."

What does that even mean? He won't pitch in the biggest game of the season (up to that point) because he doesn't want to think about injuries ever again? One start on four days rest could ruin his career? It's so late in the game? Yes, it's called the run to the playoffs. Important games late in the season are when top players stand up, take the team and throw the other 24 (or 31 in September) guys on your back and do whatever it takes to get to the playoffs.

Let me try this for you, Cole.

"It's tough because it's so late in the game and I want to pitch every day. Honestly, if they'd let me throw every game, I'd do it. I want to do whatever I can physically do to help this team win. We'll just need to see how my arm responds. The last thing I want to do is go out there and hurt the team. I'm hoping that I'll be ready to go."

Was that so hard, you aloof bastard? Now go back to handcuffing last place teams and think about it for a while.

Links (sorry if any of this was discussed on this page already. I don't really read what Enrico writes):

• There will be a fundraiser for the family of John Marzano. MLB's Chris Carron will be participating in a half marathon later this month to help raise money for the family. Baseball Prospectus has all the information on where to donate. Usually I'd be leery of promoting a fundraiser for a former professional athlete and television analyst as I bet he was probably doing better than most of us. But this is Johnny Marz, so you may be interested.

• Bernard Hopkins will pump your gas. Today, from 7-9 am at the BP Station at 1850 S. Columbus Blvd, says the Mighty Dan Gross. It's part of some promotional thing.

• Lito will be traded shortly, says Drew Rosenhaus, as told by Eagletarian Les Bowen. I'll see it when I believe it. Why would the Eagles trade their third cornerback now? What could they get in return? A wideout? Who? They had four months to get this done.

• Inqy columnist Bob Ford welcomes back John Gonzalez by giving him some advice. The headline says Don't eat the press food. Telling a writer not to eat free press box food is like telling a dog not to smell another dog's butt. Try as you might, but it ain't gonna happen. It's amazing how Ford could even type this, as I'm sure one arm was elbow deep into a tray of four-cheese pasta. In his defense, he limits it to just the Sixers press food. I've worked enough basketball games to know that those guys will eat ANYTHING. I think I saw someone eat their place card one time because ketchup fell on it.

• Thrown into the bottom of a post about the new club seats at Rutgers Stadium, Adam Zagoria mentions that Barack Obama could be stopping the Hope Train in Piscataway next week, to visit the Rutgers-UNC game on September 11th. He'll be in NYC for a memorial that day, so he may come down to root on...both teams? I'll be there, and so will Erin Andrews. I wonder which one of us is going to get the interview.

• Lastly, the Prez talked last night, even pausing via satellite for applause (are they saying Boo or Boo-urns?) You can watch the video here, if you missed it while watching Cole play Cops and Nationals.

• If you want your blog listed here, or have something you read that is worth plugging, email me.

Comments

[ill]

Erin Andrews and Barack Obama in the same post? Well fuck me with a pointy stick.

[Dan Levy]

Hey, it's easy to get Obama and EA into the same post. The hard part is making it about yourself too.

[Chamomiles Davis]

The funny part was that the speech was pre-taped: Republicans are just that well-trained.

This is why I don't do political humor.

[James Fayleez]

July 20, 1969 – Neil Armstrong lands on the moon

November 22, 1963 – JFK Assassination

August 1, 1981 – MTV debuts

September 2, 2008 – Chris Wheeler says, “I don’t know.”

[James Beale]

James Fayleez's history of the world?

[Scott B]

Drew Rosenhaus is a turd

[Joe]

Seriously, Cole is a stud, an ace, whatever you wanna call him, but man is he a freakin pussy. Just man up and pitch on your normal 4 days rest.

[Clare]

Too bad I couldn't WATCH Cole handcuff the Nats last night and had to hear updates on the game during the fantasy football draft chat, since I was in a hotel that didn't have CSN. Stupid LodgeNet.

p.s. I don't like handcuffs. Fuzzy ones are a joke and I don't like the feel of metal around my wrists. Did any of you see Mad Men this week? Now you're talking.

[Dan Levy]

@ Clare: Did any of you see Mad Men this week? Now you're talking.

"I said stop talking."

/Draper'd

[Bryan]

Does anyone actually go to Rutgers football games?