Don't Read This, Just Give Me Your Money Instead

Former Phillie Lenny Dykstra is in the investment business and was profiled by HBO.  The Inquirer's Frank Fitzpatrick found the key to a good article, just cut and paste a conversation from HBO.  We do the same:

Host Bernard Goldberg: "Is it true you once said you don't read books because they might hurt your batting eye?"

Lenny Dykstra: "Yeah. You got to rest your eyes, man, plus it makes you think too much."

Goldberg: "Reading?"

Dykstra: "Too confusing."

Goldberg: "Reading?"  

Dykstra: "Yeah, I still don't like to read."

Goldberg: "And I'm supposed to follow your investing advice?"

Dykstra: "Only if you like money."

Brilliant!  But don't trust Lenny alone, how about Mad Money's Jim Cramer:

Cramer: "If I didn't know any better I would tell you that everything you hear from Lenny is an act. Because there's no way that he would ever, that you would ever feel like he's as smart as he really is, if you listen to him. Now, there are probably four or five people in the world who, if they sent me an e-mail, told me to learn a stock, I would actually take them seriously." 

Goldberg: "And he's one of them?"

Cramer: "He's one of them. He's one of them."

Cramer: "I think people don't think of Lenny as sophisticated. But I am telling you, Bernie, that not only is he sophisticated but he's one of the great ones in this business. He's one of the great ones."

Goldberg: "Lenny Dykstra."

Cramer: "Lenny Dykstra. Lenny Dykstra."

The Dude's hatred for reading could explain his little tax problem.  He just didn't want to read all those tax forms, obviously.

Comments

[johndewar]

I would rather take investing advice from Lenny on the Simpsons than Lenny Dykstra.

[Eagle Scout]

Good to see Fitzpatrick, the man who hates the bloggers, emulating exactly what we do.

[Pete D]

I wish I disliked reading as much as Lenny Dykstra, this way I wouldn't have to read Frank Fitzpatrick.

[db]

I saw this the other night on Real Sports and it was pure gold. Just because Lenny is a businessman now, doesn't mean he's afraid to drop the F bomb left and right. If its on OnDemand, watch it, they do show some vintage "dude" stuff too.

[His Dudeness]

If only Dutch would take The Dude along with him on those time traveling trips, he wouldn't have to worry about fickle things such as "taxes"

[Chamomiles Davis]

Frank Fitzpatrick plagiarizing > Frank Fitzpatrick writing his own shite

[Chamomiles Davis]

Goldberg: "Lenny Dykstra."

Cramer: "Lenny Dykstra. Lenny Dykstra."

I... I don't understand; they said his name three times! Why didn't Nail appear behind them and slaughter them viciously?