Vitamin Water Has Gone Too Far

For the past month or so, I've noticed this creepy Vitamin Water billboard on my way home from work on I-95.  It somewhat resembles an advert for a movie; with Donovan McNabb playing the part of the generic jersey-wearing QB trying to rehab his surgically repaired knee while an Orville Redenbacher lookalike motivates him with a suitcase full of power-c flavored Vitamin Water and an enormous ghetto blaster.  The good folks over at Vitamin Water even went so far as to dedicate and entire website, MCNABBisBACK.com, to this fake movie complete with a fake trailer, a fake plot summary, behind the fake scenes footage, and of course, a cameo from Wilma McNabb.  (You can watch the trailer for the "movie" HERE, but to be honest with you, it's just a huge waste of a minute and forty-five seconds.) 

Now, I have nothing against Vitamin Water - although I do prefer my water clear and vitamin-free - but I just can't stand when Philadelphia athletes subject themselves to horrible adverts for companies.  [Also see: Howard, Ryan]  I guess when Coca-Cola bought out Glaceau for $4.2 billion, they had nothing better to do than waste a couple hundred thou on this garbage.   Afterall, the commercial coulda been a little more Urlacher/Ortiz playing badminton and a little less Kelly Clarkson:  Snakecharmer.   

Now, jussoyaknow, I'm not some bitter curmudgeon that sits around and complains about various shit all day.  That's why I stopped listening to Eskin.  I critique because I care.  You just can't help getting douche chills when Ryan Howard yuks it up with Jared Fogle or when Donovan McNabb uncomfortably pretends that Vitamin Water had anything to do with his rehab. 

And to prove my point, I present you with a Philly athlete/ad campaign I can throw my support behind:

Mmmm, Krimpets.

>> The Power and the Glory [McNabbisback.com]

Comments

[ryan]

Krimpets are solid, I prefer the candy cakes though...anything Tastykake is ah-okay.

Why the beef with the athletes trying to make a buck though? You know Ryan Howard doesn't eat subway subs, I know Ryan Howard doesn't eat subway subs, so who cares if he gets a kickback to make a few lame commercials? Granted these guys are making millions a year already, but they might as well get the extra cash while they can because in 8 or 9 years (maybe a little longer in Howard's case), nobody will care about these washed up ex-athletes enough to throw a couple of dimes at them. As long as these guys don't go all Raphael Palmario on as and start doing Viagra commercials, I'm all for it.

[Mike]

I get why he is doing it, but the Vitamin Water fiasco is uber-lame. It takes itself entirely too seriously. At least the Utley ad offers something in return.

[Gaze]

[Sarcasm] It's because they're black, isn't it? McNabb, Howard... you just hate seeing black guys make an advertising buck! Of course you like crimpets, they're white![/Sarcasm]

[Chamomiles Davis]

You can have your Krimpets, mister; I'll take Peanut Butter Kandy Kakes from now until St. Motherfuckin' Swiven's Day.

Wash them bad boys down with sommadat G-Unit's finest beverage.

[Matt P]

Is Orville's box playing "In Your Eyes"? If so, is he also banging Ione Skye? This would be the only acceptable reason to reference Say Anything in a sports water ad.

[enrico]

MEECH!

[steve]

I'm currently been residing in Cape Town but have been following the Phillies on the site along with the other usually places. It's already been a tough winter (oops, wrong hemisphere) with the up and down tribulations of the Phils and not being able to attend any games this year (first time in my life). However, blogs have been a great way to cure homesickness by reading all the local news and I've been a big fan of your site. But then, you had to go post the Utley/tastycakes/WaWa ad. I almost cried as my mouth started watering for some krimpets and kandykakes and chocolate juniors. Not to mention the thought of getting a decent hoagie at WaWa's. Plus the thought of Utley back in the lineup.

[Maria]

TastyKakes has the idea. Not good for you but they offer something in return. A chance to meet Chase Utley! Nothing better.