I Was There: Almost almost no no

First, a confession:  Cole Hamels is a big part of why the other women on the masthead at Ladies... asked me to join them to write about hotties, sports, and sports hotties.  So I make no pretense at objectivity here.  If you're looking for objective, go read the AP's story about the game.  I'll wait.

I'm a big believer in omens; those little messages from the universe that try to tell you when something momentous is going to happen.  So when I left work yesterday to head down to the CBP for Ryan Howard bobblehead night and Cole's seventh start of the season, there was a rapture-like downpour all over the Delaware Valley and four fire trucks blocked my progress to I-95.  "This is a bad sign," I said to myself.

I'm glad I ignored that thought.

Clearly a lot of other people threw common sense by the wayside too.

How much could I get on eBay for nine pallets of Ryan Howard bobbleheads?

From the Phillies Wall of Fame area in center field, I had a great view of the bathroom bullpen.  Too bad the ushers threw me out before I could watch Cole and Jeff Suppan warm up. 

After wandering around on the concourse for 90 minutes, drinking Victorino Hop Devil and growing ever more damp, I caught the grounds crew yanking the tarp off the field.  Finally, Cole comes out to warm up.  I squee.

Eeeeeeeeee!

The minister of silly walks.

Brett Myers chats with a fan, then slugs him in the face.  Allegedly.

I think I took this photo during the first or second inning.  From my seat in Section 141, I had a very fine view of Pat the Bat.  Pat, you've got something on your pants;  let me brush that off for you.

Around the fifth, though, the atmosphere in the park changed.  People started to take notice of the Brewers' line -- a whole string of zeroes.  All of a sudden, people were standing up on every two-strike count, screaming for strikeouts, going wild on a 5-3 throw to first.  For all the flak Philadelphia fans take for their negative qualities, they're a force to be reckoned with when they get behind you.  It's hard to say who was carrying who;  Did Cole have these 40,000-or-so soggy Philadelphians on his back, or did we have him on ours?

Just look at that line!

It was Nurses' Appreciation Night at the CBP, so during the Phanatic's traditional sixth-inning appearance, he was kitted out in scrubs and a surgical mob cap. 

Eventually, though, the magic had to end (I blame it on the striped-shirt wearing douchebag sitting in front of me -- don't talk about a no-no while it's going on, dumbass!) J.J. Hardy and his stupid goatee lined a two-run homer out to Section 142.  It only took a little bit of booing for the guy who caught it to throw it back on the field, though.  Cole, with his incredible poise, fanned six of the next seven guys he faced.  What a stud.

Now Jason Bay has a friend!

Comments

[Matt P]

These have probably been the three best games of the season so far, and the Phils are in a helluva run. The pitching has been lights out for a long string, and the run support is outstanding.

Hamels is now second in the majors in K's, only one behind Jake Peavy. I wonder what Clare will think of him in an All-Star uniform.

[Sid]

Krisheim, this is the gayest post ever!

[Walklett]

Douchebags in striped shirts always ruin everything.

[Metschick]

yeah, it was that douche in a striped shirt! It certainly wasn't me, jinxing Hamels. Not at all.

[Texas Gal]

I still blame Metschick. And that striped shirt guy.

GREAT game- that was some filthy, nasty, awesome stuff from Cole- and fabulous story!

[Shan]

You said Victorino Hop Devil! My fantasy team salutes you.

And, uh, I can't believe I missed this. I am as bad as the striped-shirt douche. Excuse me while I go find a red bull and a little white ball.

[Erika]

Nice work, Clare. I'm glad that Jason Bay is lonely no more.

[Matt P]

If Jason Bay is lonely, I know a certain intrastate rival that needs an upgrade in RF.

[Andrea]

Great post, Clare-bear. How exciting that must've been for you! I want to witness a no-no sometime before I die.

[Matt P]

er i mean LF...

[Texas Gal]

Matt- the LF is just fine where he is, thank you very much. (bring on the boos, you know you want to)

[SA]

Great stuff Clare.

[Matt P]

Hey I'm a Pat supporter, one of the biggest around... but come on... it's Jason Bay!

[Extra P.]

Bobble Ryan looks like a baseball player. Bobble Jason looks like he's going to engage in a beatdown if he doesn't get his Pierogies right quick.

[TheStarterWife]

So did you get an extra few pallets of bobbleheads?

No one in your section yelled at striped-shirt guy? Are Philly fans going soft?

[TheStarterWife]

So Clare is stuck behind an Iron Curtain at work that will not let her post on Typepad - so here are her responses to everyone's comments -

Matt P, it all looks the same on my bedroom floor. (OH SNAP!)

Sid, you're a class act.

Walklett, Mets, and Tex, believe me, I gave Striped Shirt Guy the what-for. I actually said, "STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!" and his douchebag friend he was with turned back and said all dismissively, "That doesn't matter if you're in the stands. It only matters if you're in the dugout. [beat] No-hitter! No-hitter! No-hitter!" Jerkoff Philadelphia fans.

Shan, I almost asked the girl at the beer stand for a Victorino Hop Devil. I caught myself just before I said it. I'm sorry you weren't there too. It was glorious.

Extra P., I see what you mean about Bobble Jason. He's got "don't mess with me" eyebrows.

TSW, the Bobble Ry Hos are going for $20 each on the eBays. I didn't want to flood the market and bring the value down any more.

[meech.one]

Solid reporting, Clare.

I'm off to the game right now. eff Corey Hart.

[Matt P]

Bobble Jason also rocks the Waste Management logo to Bobble Ryan's Toyota. He doesn't work for WM, but he's on the payroll...

[J-Money]

Brett Myers would like you to direct this guest editorial to his arm.

You are the awesomest Clare!

[Annie]

That post was hilarious.